Happy Saturday, y’all. It’s been a minute since I last posted, I think it was back in August or so, but I’m back and with some news, not the best kind of news, but news nonetheless.
So as of October 30th, I’m no longer a part of my school’s practical nursing program. To say I was devastated is an understatement. When I was in the office with my director of nursing and my instructor getting told this, I got a gut feeling, I started to shake and when I was told the news, I tried to hold it in and be strong, but I couldn’t. I cried, a lot. It took me a minute to calm myself down, but I did and once I was told this I just wanted to leave, honestly. But my friend S, who is the best, stopped me and asked me how’d it go (mind you, we had check offs that day, too) and I just cried again and we went to the bathroom and I showed her the paper and she just hugged me and even cried haha but she was able to stay with me through the whole withdrawal process and told me that everything’s going to be okay and you’ll be back and be better than ever.
I wanted to believe that in that moment, but it was more hurt and frustration that was taking over than positivity and good vibes in that moment. Then another friend named M said that maybe this is God telling you it’s not you’re time right now, focus on yourself and get everything sorted before trying again. I realized that in that moment these people really truly cared for me and my feelings, they didn’t judge, they didn’t ask too many questions, they were just there and I’m very grateful for them and everyone that took the time to message me in the days to come about how I’ve been doing and how they missed me. I do miss my little family, but I’ll be there to see them at graduation and be proud of every single one of them! It’s crazy how in a small amount of time you can grow fond of each other like a family with all the laughs and jokes and the hard times as well.
Now you’re probably asking yourself, “well, what now?” And the answer is, I’m going to work on myself, save up some money, move out and get a job and work on my blog in the mean time. Once it gets closer to applying I’ll study for the entrance exam and register to take it and go on from there. I’ve been asked why not go to a different school? The answer is easy, I like this nursing program. I know the material, I know how my instructors teach, I already have the uniforms, I don’t want to waste any more money either, I’m familiar with this program and I’ll be better as ever once I’m back in the program.
I don’t see this as a failure, I see this as more of a life lesson. This doesn’t mean the end, it’s only the beginning, I’ll have some bumps on the road to my goals, but I won’t let that stop me from achieving my goals. If you’ve ever been in a situation like this, I encourage you to not look at this as a failure or as if you’re not good enough, because I know how that feels I’ve been there, but I’m here to let you know that you’re not a failure and you’re good enough. Don’t let anyone or anything get in the way of you fulfilling your goals and dreams especially if it’s something you truly want, I know I won’t because I know this is the path for me, it just wasn’t my time just yet.
So now that I’ve gotten it all out, I feel better more at ease with what’s happened in the last couple of days. I hope you have a wonderful rest of the weekend and if you want to message me at all, feel free to do so, I’m here to listen and give advice the best I can. Happy November, y’all. 💖